Do You Ever Fail?
I set a lot of goals, some of them I accomplish. Most of the time, I “fail”. For so many different reasons, or excuses, or LIFE. That’s a big one for me. Life just happens so much. I swear I have the worst luck. As soon as things settle down, or I can start to see an easy path to get somewhere, it all goes to shit. It never fails. If I am in the middle of one of my goals, and something pretty big or even something stressful, my goal flies out the window. No matter what I’m trying to do, it’s game over. There are so many types of goals I set too.
Goals and Motherhood
I feel like a have a constant goal for being a mom. That’s to just be a better, more calm, more happy mom. I want to be able to take it easy and not take things to serious. Instead of yelling and popping off, I want to be able to INSTANTLY talk about it. I usually will yell, get mad and worked up. Then I will feel like utter shit, then is when I can calm down and talk through it. This has been a goal of mine for so long, probably since my oldest hit her terrible twos and I was pregnant with my youngest. I will say, recently, I was doing very well, but then we had to move, and boom. Just like that, all the progress I made was gone. I’m right back where I started.
This is more of like a secret goal of my mine. Sure, I admit to being a yeller and laugh at it, but I HATE it. I don’t want to be this way for my girls. Plus it is a easy thing to hid from the outside world. I don’t yell at the park or store. Just in the secret walls of my house. So while people probably see me failing as a mother, they don’t know how hard I am failing in my own goals.
Goals and Health
This is where my biggest problem is, and the one that is pointed out the most. This has everything to do with eating well and exercising. I don’t even set goals for weight loss anymore. I know that is my best way to fail because I know I will get discouraged, when it is really more dependent on how I am feeling and looking, not how much I actually weight.
Let me walk you through what happens, I will finally get sick of feeling like poop and hating myself. I will figure out what I need to do to get feeling better. I know what “diet” works well with me and my health issues (PCOS). I will get pumped, I’ll make meal plans, make sure I know what snacks I can and can’t have. I’ll go shopping for all the things, I’m ready. Then I decide what workout program I want to do. I used to do beach body, which I LOVED, but I just don’t pay for it anymore. Plus, now I focus more on yoga. So I’ll get my calendar printed out, I’m excited! I can stick with it for two maybe three weeks.
The beginning of 2017, I stuck for it for about three or four months maybe, that was the longest I’ve stuck with something. Then I started working. Once I was done with the yoga calendar I was currently doing, it was GAME OVER. Oh, and my healthy eating went way before that. Between then and now, I have started that process over and over. When I was working, it was always something. Stress about scheduling, housework and my girls. I was drowning and trying to add anything to that killed me. I wouldn’t get anywhere, I never was even able to get to a point where I felt good. Once I stopped working, late 2018, it was still always something. I got sick. I was stressed about something, then binge ate. Tried getting back on track then we moved. I had to pack up my blender and cookware, so might as well give up eating well all together. Then there was so many stressful things That happened while moving, I didn’t even try again.
So What’s The Point Of Even Trying Again?
I’m a failure! I can’t stick to anything! I’ve never finished the plans I started. Why am I going to keep putting myself in a position to fail again?
It’s fine, I can just be one of those angry moms. I am the definition of a yeller anyways. I’ll just numb the feeling of hating myself every time I raise my voice at the smallest things. Whatever. Better than failing again, right?
I’ll just keep packing on the pounds too. Sure my back constantly hurts, but if I don’t have to work out or move, it’s not a problem. Why does health really matter anyways, we’re just going to die no matter what. OH WELL! I love McDonald and Taco Bell. Bring it. Better than being embarrassed because I didn’t finish something again.
Wait, did you think I was serious?
Guess what, just because I, you, or someone’s goals don’t go as planned, it doesn’t mean we are failures. It simply means we haven’t meet our goals. It means we aren’t done fighting. We just need to keep trying till we can change the habits. That is really all it is, just working to change the habits we have, and that is hard. I will talk more about habits later! We only FAIL if we completely give up and stop trying all together. So no, we aren’t failures. Every single time plans change, I learn something new. I know new triggers, I know what I can do better at or better ways to handle things. You can always take something away from the things that don’t go right. THAT is the beauty in the process.
Let me know in the comments below of what you FEEL like you are failing at, but keep trying!